777 Does it ever get any easier?
Yes… eventually, it does.
If you’ve lived in survival mode for so long (sometimes for many years), it can be difficult to feel safe again, even when technically everything is going right, and there are no particular reasons to worry. Sometimes I look at my life, and I still cannot believe where I am today. Because a year ago, I didn’t even have my own place. I was also very lost in terms of who I was and what I should do with my career. And there was this constant question: “What is my purpose?”
And many times, my inner critic would whisper, “You’re 32 already. You should have achieved much more by now!”
But what if surviving was an achievement itself?
I think I’m at the stage where I’m learning each day to love myself a little bit more, because before, I felt like I needed to work hard to deserve love. But today, it feels like I’m a completely different person. Many things that have happened over the last few years could probably be considered misfortunes. But for me, they turned out to be opportunities to learn more about myself and discover who I actually am.
I learned that I am capable of loving others unconditionally, without expecting anything in return, simply because I wanted to see them well.I also learned and experienced that touch can have an almost “magical” power of its own and can be deeply healing.
I learned that setting boundaries can be one of the biggest forms of self-love, rather than constantly people-pleasing.
I learned that grieving someone we once loved, or perhaps still love, who is no longer part of our lives, can simply mean that all the love we still carry for them suddenly has nowhere to go. And maybe grief is also a testament to just how deeply we loved them.
There have been many things that happened to me over the past three years that could be considered “unlucky”, but even in those difficult moments, I kept saying to myself, “I trust that everything is okay and everything will be fine.” And I kept going, even when I had absolutely no idea where I was heading. I’ve come to believe that sometimes life gives us the same lessons over and over again, not necessarily as a punishment, but perhaps to see whether we will choose differently this time.
Because maybe in life, we don’t always attract what we want, but what we are. I still have days when I cry, and that’s okay. I don’t want to hold my emotions inside anymore like I did for so many years. And I guess that’s the price I’ll have to pay for feeling everything so deeply. Before, I would have called it a curse. But when I really think about it, maybe it’s actually a gift. I’d rather feel deeply than not feel at all. Because if I am capable of feeling pain so deeply, then surely I am capable of feeling happiness to the same extent, if not even more. 🤍
So even if everything seems to be going wrong in your life, or everything feels like it’s falling apart, let me tell you… it might actually be a good sign. And it might only be temporary.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
My own transition has been happening for over three years now, and it hasn’t been easy, but it definitely has been, and still is, worth it. Sometimes the old has to fall apart in order for something new to come to life. You cannot build a strong building on a weak foundation. So if you’re struggling, maybe ask yourself, “What is this trying to teach me?”. And if you cannot find the answer yet, simply say to yourself: “I trust that everything is happening for my highest good.”
It’s actually so funny because, as I’m writing this post, I’ve just seen 777. Maybe that means something?
I’ve been noticing synchronicities for quite some time now, especially over the past three years, almost on a daily basis. I can’t always tell what they mean at that particular moment. But this time, seeing 777 brings me some kind of comfort and reassurance.
Maybe it’s simply what I needed to see right now.
And maybe, if you’re reading this, you needed to see it too.
Maybe it’s your little reminder that everything will be okay. 🤍
Agnes xx